Women are trained to smile to please others, but not to laugh loudly because it indicates a strong independent self and is scolded out of young girls. How much does the need to be likeable restrict you? Shefali, 15, who goes to the Modern School in New Delhi says, “When I speak loudly, my mother does not like it. Even women associated speaking up with disobedience, lack of respect, being aggressive and loud. While most women said it was important to speak up, most did not speak up, saying-nothing will change anyway, don't hurt people, leave it be. The word “chup” is used so often, it has entered the Oxford English dictionary. How often do you silence or censor yourself? Many women had been harassed or molested not just on streets but within extended families and neighbourhoods, but 95 per cent had not told their mothers. 90 per cent disliked or were indifferent to their own bodies and none had honest conversations about their bodies at home. They had strong negative judgments about their bodies and long lists of body parts that needed replacement. Most of the women I spoke to didn't love their bodies. Here are the seven dangerously insidious habits that we need to talk about more… 1. And then, we must understand them as by-products of an unequal power system that elevates men and does not want us to exist. First, we as women must recognise behaviours in ourselves and in each other, without blame or shame.
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